I really do enjoy blogging. It brings a level of order to the potpourri of thoughts and ideas floating around my head that I like to throw out there and can then find closure on the particular subject upon posting. I think it also re-energizes me to a certain level. This past year, I certainly had my time filled with class work, thesis writing, and job searching. These were all things I found value in but may not have necessarily enjoyed. Spending time with my wife, engaging in good conversations with friends, investing in TSO & IFC students, reading and journaling – these were all activities that gave me life and came higher on the priority list than blogging.
But I’m now in transition time. If I were into clichés, I’d say I’m turning to a new chapter. And if I were into Bible clichés, I’m currently in the Selah phase. So perhaps I’ll have time to think and ponder and then blog.
The transition out of the Taylor community has been a difficult one. During my undergrad experience, I became very invested in my small group of friends there. Leaving was difficult but it was 4 years in the making and staying any longer would have felt like hanging out longer than what was healthy. Now, after 2 years in the masters program, it’s different. I wouldn’t feel comfortable staying in class any longer, but the desire to stay is there. I have good friends that are sticking around. I have students and programs that I still feel invested in. I tried to leave with a good sense of closure but it usually ended up in a lot of tears and trying to figure out a way to reverse time.
I just returned from my good friend, Ben Goller’swedding. As it was located in Orlando and Jorje and I decided to drive it, I had plenty of time to think while driving the ever exciting 20 hours of highway located between the panhandle and the crossroads. Along that route, my mind frequently went to the friends Jorje and I had grown close to over the last couple years. Lord knows my prayer life has been spotty this past year and has usually been instigated by a sense of helplessness or desperation. But I decided to lift my friends up in prayer while driving – replacing my helplessness catalyst with boredom/loneliness.
While my therapeutic prayers for friends may not have the best motivations, they are a part of a larger goal to practice some good habits in this next month. I’d like to spend some time reading (fiction!) in a hammock. I’d like to spend some extended time with my wife and brother – most likely watching cable shows or beaching it. I’d like to think about the upcoming school year. I’d like to figure out ways to maintain the friendships I’ve cultivated without living in the past. I’d like to rest and know the Lord is in control.